I was reading a post the other day and it was describing what life is like when you are in your 20’s. The real meaning of life starts to become clearer. Those family secrets that were kept from you because you were too young are now being revealed. We all have different experiences but one truth we can probably all agree on is that “Life is too short”. We have so much to do and so much to achieve but such little time.
So I asked myself this question, “if life is so short that I don’t have enough time to achieve all I have set out for myself, why am I wasting it trying to please the world and make everyone else happy”. Its harder for women because its part of our DNA to care for others, to nurture and keep things together at all times. In the process of doing that, we neglect our own needs, not realising that its ok to be selfish at times.
A few things to help you Choose You:
Learn the art of saying no – You have to learn to say no to certain requests and not feel obligated to take on the world. This also goes as far as saying no to social media pressures to keep up with the latest trends that you can’t afford eg vacations, hairdo’s, clothes, Iphones
Remember that you are important – In every single blog post I will remind you how amazing you are. This little piece of reality will help you choose yourself because you believe in your worth
Express yourself – I have this philosophy that if I need to get something off my chest to make me feel better than I will say it. In relationships I’m that person who sends that long emotional message because it makes me feel better. I may look and sound crazy to the other person but that’s ok because there’s no weight on my chest anymore.
Remove the negativity – Be intentional about who you surround yourself with. Not every friend is your friend and has your best interest at heart. Not every relative should be sent a Christmas card. Be wise enough to identify the people who add negative vibes in your life and be strong enough to cut them out or limit contact.
Its ok to divorce that person who’s making your life miserable. Protect your heart
Its ok to let go of that friend who makes you feel like life is a competition. Choose peace
Its ok to have a “me day” or “girls night out”. Choose happiness
Another truth is what Chimamanda says in her book “We Should All Be Feminists”
We teach girls shame. “Close your legs. Cover yourself.” We make them feel as though being born female they’re already guilty of something. And so, girls grow up to be women who cannot say they have desire. They grow up to be women who silence themselves. They grow up to be women who cannot say what they truly think. And they grow up — and this is the worst thing we do to girls — they grow up to be women who have turned pretense into an art form.”
Take control of your happiness. You are living your own life. You can’t be expected to please everybody except for yourself. Apply what resonates today and listen to your own wisdom. And as you practice these ideas you will soon go from being a giver who is relentlessly drained to becoming a giver who is prosperous. Someone who gives it their all but who don’t give it all.