When the question “Who are you?” is thrown at me, my response is simply I’m Norma Fundira, a girl-power enthusiast who loves life and loves people. Never will you find me responding with “a girl with stretch marks and a few imperfections” because that’s really not who I am but rather what I have and I rock it well.
I’m speaking to that beautiful woman who doesn’t see herself as beautiful, that woman who sees her imperfections as a definition of who she is. Fortunately for you, we are all imperfect, including those ones you think are perfect. One freckle is called a beauty spot; two freckles are still beauty spots. So when did more than two beauty spots wind up becoming an imperfection called freckles.
Who gets to decide how a woman should look? Who has the deciding factor that draws the line between beautiful and imperfect? What scales have been put in place to measure your physical appearance and categorise you? When did something as natural as a stretchmark become excluded from other natural features like eye colour? As far as I’m concerned, whatever is natural is beautiful and no one should tell you otherwise. When you succumb to these negative definitions imposed on you by society, it changes the way you look at yourself and destroys your ability to see your worth.
We become prisoners of our own self-inflicted identity. Black woman wake up. Write your own life story. Let us re-define stretchmark’s, freckles, cellulite … as we see fit. Let’s make society conform to our own description of these “flaws” that have so much potential of being seen as beauty.
Varya Kapran wrote:
But “perfection” is imaginary – an image. It is not substance or natural. It is something that we must work tirelessly to maintain, at the cost of our physical and mental health, and even our relationships. In the pursuit of this, we lose our self-worth. We buy the outfits. We exercise and torture ourselves instead of moving creatively. We make demands of our partners and relationships. We make demands of ourselves. And in the process, we begin to lose ourselves, which is the greatest loss of all. We spend our days focusing not inwards but outwards. You ARE worthy. Of love. Of joy. Of laughter. Of emotional safety. You are. You have so much to offer, and believe it or not, your flaws are a part of what makes you unique, and makes you – you.
Wise words from a fellow writer, perfection is imaginary and the image below is proof of it. No one is unflawed, she isn’t real and yet you strive to compete with an imaginary figurine.
When will you start wearing your skin with pride and confidence, fully embracing every mark and uneven contour that makes up your frame? When will you start loving yourself and overcoming the feeling of being ineligible for the rest of the world? The rest of the world didn’t give you life, the rest of the world didn’t make you in their own image, God did, and when He looked at you He thought you were perfect. Therefore we cannot and should not redefine Gods perfection.
Girl child I love you. I love everything about you. Because of this, I will empower you and make you see what you clearly cannot see for yourself. The day you recognise and appreciate yourself the way you are, you will understand what you are capable of. The world doesn’t love you. The world can be a hateful place that will cause you to resent yourself. Focus your energy into perfecting the person that’s inside. So many times I meet people who represent the world’s perception of perfect and all that fades away when they open their mouths. Now that is true imperfection, when your heart is so dark that it overshadows your physical. That is a matter of concern, not a few lines on your stomach. Have a heart that shines so bright that all those perceived flaws are out-weighed. The world that once judged you wants to be you. Reclaim yourself and define your own beauty.